Reply to DH interested in nightly sex -- am I being unreasonable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gosh, this is depressing.

Nightly sex is not normal?  Why not?

OP, sex is supposed to be a renewal of the marriage vows, a total giving of one to the other.  The problem I see is that your husband is taking, rather than giving.  Sex should always be both spouses giving of themselves.

The solution is not masturbation, but a renewed understanding of what sex means.  Your husband needs to fix himself, not find a new way to be selfish.  Because any energy he put into porn would be taken from you.  You deserve all of him.

So instead of listening to this nonsense that you should encourage your husband to become even more self-centered, you should speak to him lovingly and say that sex is an expression of love, and you are always wanting to express your love that way, and assume he is, too.  But sometimes, love needs to be expressed through meeting the needs of the kids, or other, more immediate needs.  That is just as profund an expression of love as sex, because it is giving of oneself, selflessly.  Explain that will make him even more sexy to you, to share that mutual understanding "how I wish we could just be making love right now, but I know you feel the same way, and you are putting aside your desire for the sake of our beautiful children, or for the sake of my health or my sanity.  I am so thankful for that act of love."

I would hope that these ideas do not come as a shock to him.  If they do, well, he had farther to go, but he can do it.  It's called being a good man.[/quote]

I just vomited all over myself.[/quote]

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