Reply to Having a really hard time with sorting out my priorities when it comes to RTO

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Having a really hard time with sorting out my priorities when it comes to RTO"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve worked in a corporate firm for many years. Back when I had my first seven years ago (pre covid) I was able to negotiate WFH four days a week and office once a week. Eventually during covid, I ended up going completely remote, but like most companies, mine has walked back on its WFH policies and is now requiring 3 days a week for everyone in the office. My commute is 90 minutes each way, best case scenario.

I am having a really hard time with deciding what to do - leaving my job, going in 3 days a week, or looking for a similar job closer to home.

I have three young kids under 7, and one has some special needs and needs a lot of scaffolding (severe adhd). I have always had full time childcare during working hours and am a top performer, so I’m not taking advantage, but WFH enabled me to do preschool drop off before starting work, and pickup during my lunch hour, see my kids during some small breaks, and have some flexibility for an elementary school pickup when needed. I’d be going from that to being gone 12+ hours a day, 3 days a week.

I have friends who love working and would lose their minds at home. I don’t dislike working, but I enjoy being with my kids and working from home was a compromise for me to be around while still contributing financially.

DH makes about 375k a year - so pretty good money, but not biglaw or anything where it’s a super obvious decision. I make about 175 + plus decent benefits. Combined we have a nice but not extravagant lifestyle. We have strong savings, have been maxing out 401k since I started working after college. We both come from well off families and while we don’t currently receive financial help (apart from therapies for our adhd child), one set of grandparents have set aside funds for grandchildren’scollege and the others are happy to help if I want to take some time away from working to prioritize the kids, which I know is very fortunate. medium and long term (we hope not for a long time) we stand to inherit a lot from various sources. Despite all of this, I’m having trouble accepting the help (and also counting on long term
Inheritance, which feels both crude and abstract) and losing the working element of my identity, but also having a hard time making a choice between my kids and my earning potential. I think my kids need me around and I enjoy being with them.

Anyone been in similar shoes with lessening flexibility at work? What did you decide to do?[/quote]

Make your acceptance of any internal transfer offer conditional on one day RTO max since that’s your red line. Look externally for jobs that meet your RTO criteria to see if you can get something better and gauge what the market looks like. Figure out if you want to maintain your lifestyle if you leave and how long your severance will last. Speak to your family in specifics about how much you will need and provide potential time frames for how long you could want help (1,2, 5, 10 years?) so you can understand their boundaries and, very likely if you have siblings, how it will impact your inheritance (ie will they deduct contributions from your trust or your portion of their estate). And potentially speak to a financial planner about different scenarios.

In the situation you described I would avoid going in three days too. I have three under 7 too, including an ES child with ADHD. Luckily, my child requires no supports at present and has a high EQ and IQ. But I get trying to anticipate what is to come and not wanting to be stretched too thin and wanting to be very involved even though you work. Our HHI is 70% higher but we have a nanny and are sending our kids to private and I make 50% of our HHI, so that is a big part of the calculus for me around staying employed. The financial advice is based on real life. We have siblings that get more support from family right now, but it comes out of their trusts. If your families have large estates they will probably be mindful of this because of all the gift tax stuff and working with an FA. The only other piece I would encourage you to think about before taking time off is the real possibility that it will be hard to come back. There are so many changes with AI and the economy and job market could be worse in 6 months, 2 years, 5 years. You simply can’t predict. And women experience ageism earlier than men. You might not be able to find a job like the one you’re leaving. Not trying to scare you, but imploring you to really brace yourself for that. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics