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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Totally agree with above PPs about not acting the maid for your grown children. [b]Throw their shit in their room and close the door.[/b] Focus on the shared spaces. [/quote]

Ok, that works for many.   I totally understand closing the doors if you have unexpected visitors and you don't have the time & energy to clean.  Or, if you think that these chores are the responsibility of your grown children and they should bear the consequence of not keeping a clean room.

However, there are a few things that I don't agree with this approach. 
 - Closing the doors do not teach them to start cleaning up by themselves.  The family will let the mess pile on without putting the effort to clean.  No one is saying that their children started to do daily clean up automagically when mom stopped cleaning for them. 
- Keeping the doors locked up means that there is no sense of clean, airy, bright space near the bedrooms.  [b]No sunlight coming in[/b]. No clean floors. No neatness.  Why would I subject myself or my family to this? 
- Letting things pile up means that subsequent cleaning will become more difficult.  The only way to get ahead is daily cleanup.

Trust me, I have taught my kids how to do these chores.  So, they know the mechanics of it.  They just don't want to do the daily grind of cleaning up as they go through their day.     I hope that they will yearn for this when they live in their own space and when things start to get out of control if they don't clean.  If they have been used to living in a clean environment in their childhood home , sooner or later, that is what they will want to replicate or atleast recognize the dysfunction for what it is.

[/quote]

Do your kids live in the basement?  My kids have windows in their rooms.  So they can see the $hit I've thrown in there. [/quote]

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