Reply to Sometimes I Don’t Let My Black Sons Have Too Much Fun in Public

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your parenting skills have failed you OP. I’m black and don’t feel this way at all. My husband is white though and raised my boys to fear him from before they could talk. I wasn’t raised like that but it really does work, as our kids never get stared at like yours and I almost never have to speak to my children about their behavior. If I do it’s something like do you want me to tell your father about this when we get home? That straightens them out pretty quickly, even though he at worst raises his voice. They haven’t been spanked or anything since they were about 3. It’s definitely a cultural or parenting issue and not a black issue because our kids are darker skinned. [/quote]

OP here:
Your reading skills really missed the mark. As I already said, I’ve never witnessed my kids being scrutinized more than others. That’s precisely why I framed it as a fear—not a confirmed reality, but a concern I carry nonetheless. And I think that fear is legitimate, given how perception often works in this world.

My wife is actually far less concerned about this than I am. But that probably has something to do with how I grew up. As a Black male—unlike your husband—I don’t have the luxury of assuming that people will always judge my sons fairly. That’s where this comes from. But sure, keep missing the point.
[/quote]

I’m not missing the mark, You are concerned about the side eye, you stated people judge you for disciplining your kids in public. I’m black I don’t fear for my black children, I also don’t get any side eye because I don’t have to discipline them in public. This is a you problem, probably  a result of your parenting skills.  [/quote]

Congrats on internalizing your racism so that your children fear your abuse more than racist strangers. Your parents must be so proud. [/quote]

Nobody is abusing my child, they behave because they were taught to behave. They are loved and respected AND they behave. I realize you ain’t used to black kids behaving but mine do cause they was raised by a white man.[/quote]

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