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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would push yourself to identify what "study" means to you. Making outlines and going over them? Writing answers to practice questions? What is it you're afraid that your kid can't do? Is it possible that they do it in some form but you don't see them do it?

I would say that if your kid is really absorbing the material at a challenging school without doing what you identify as studying, and you're afraid that at some point, they're going to struggle and get a bad grade, it may be that they have to learn their lesson the hard way. I think HS kids can be bright and stubborn enough that they won't want to do something you think they should do unless they see a benefit, which is, in a way, evidence of maturity. (I don't spend energy convincing my 11-year-old son not to eat a ton of sugar when he eats his veggies and protein. He's naturally very skinny and burns a ton of energy running around. If he's going to get chubby one day, it's not going to help if I tell him to lay off the Sprite at birthday parties now. It's just going to create resentment.)

It's okay for our kids -- for all people -- to fail. The pain is how we create lasting memories. We build feelings of competence when we get past hard things. You can make a last attempt, "I see you doing X and it's hard for me to understand why you don't do Y--can you explain it to me? Do you think it MIGHT be useful if you try Y with my support, knowing that one day you might need to do it without my support?" And then just let them go for it. [/quote]

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