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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband really struggles with our younger kid (age 4, very sensitive).

Since she was born, we've usually divided and conquered - he takes care of the older one, and I'm with the younger one. Or I'd have them both, as he was working more. (They are both in school/daycare, so this is for evenings and weekends).

I've gotten really exhausted by this setup, as our preschooler easily veers into loss of control. She may be over-excited playing with her sister or reluctant to do the next step of her morning routine - within seconds she is wildly running and laughing and yelling, and before long it's a full-blown tantrum where she may scream and hit. We've talked to a therapist and are trying to work on it, but it's a lot of work supporting her and teaching her emotion regulation skills and we're both tired and dealing with a lot of responsibilities so it's hard.

Anyway, I am working more now and my husband is working less, so he is willing to step up more. But he is terrible at preventing the tantrums. It's not something I can easily teach him, because it just requires being "on" and watching her emotions and redirecting or addressing them if they start bubbling up. He gets overwhelmed by how quickly it goes from normal to out of control. He's also not good at multitasking, like making breakfast while also watching her.

When he is responsible for the kids, there are often tantrums that I hear through the walls, no matter where I go in the house. I get extremely shaken up and hopeless when I hear this. It makes me feel like I can never ever have a break, like I have a messed up kid, like my husband is a terrible parent. I work so hard to minimize the tantrums, and as soon as I pass her off, it's ruined. Plus, if she tantrums in the morning, the entire day can be off.

We've been fighting about this, he says I just need to stay away until he calls for my help (if it gets really bad). I say that I can't just sit there while she is laughing, screaming, and defying him, and by that point, it's all gone to shit anyway, and he needs to prevent it from happening. The visual of him overwhelmed and frustrated and not in control of the situation is just too much for me to ignore.

We'll have a good week and then I'm just so exhausted and need him to watch them and immediately a tantrum happens and I can't get a break. Is there any way out of this?[/quote]

Dump him.  You deserve a better father for your kids.  Keep looking.[/quote]

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