Reply to In-laws upset they can't visit ON grandchild's birthday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
“Finally, if your kids don’t want the in-laws coming for their birthday, you know what, so the F what. Teach them to show some respect.”

This is a really weird toxic attitude but I’ve seen it before in a relative everyone has no contact with now. In our situation, the relative wanted a family day event to extend to a sleep over in the backyard. We declined and she pushed that the kids would come. Kids told us they 10000% did not want to so we declined. She pushed again and we told her politely the kids don’t want to sleep in the backyard. Her response was ‘why would it matter if the kids want to or not? I’m the elder, I get what I want! You aren’t raising them right.’ We were shocked, obviously didn’t give in.

OP’s in laws may have a milder variation of this. They do not care if the kid wants to spend their birthday doing what they want. In their opinion, others don’t matter. Just them and because they are older they should get what they want. They don’t care that other house guests are there. They want what they want.

All the other posters who suggest just telling them it won’t work , planning a different week and not worrying whether they get upset are correct. If they are reasonable people they may be disappointed but they will be fine. If they blow up, then you know you’ll need to start drawing back even more and bracing yourself for more toxic behavior.

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It’s not just a “relative” in this case.  It’s the grandparents.  And, yes, unless they’re horrible people who don’t treat their family well grandchildren should be raised and expected to respect them.  There’s nothing “toxic” about wanting to be with your grandchildren on their birthday.  What on earth happened to all you people that has turned you so nasty?  [/quote]

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