Reply to Teen girl not having fun at beach week

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A big issue is that OP’s kid is just constantly texting her mom. There is such a thing as too much connectivity. In the past she’d have had to problem solve and figure this out herself and it would’ve built confidence and resilience. Now she just texts her mom every little frustration which isn’t helping the dynamic. She’s not alone in this, a lot of kids this age simply lack interpersonal tools because they default to texting their parent. [/quote]

This is true. When my dd got to HS she went through some hard times with shifting of friend groups and dealing with social issues like with who you are seen walking around the football games. She used to text me a lot when she was upset, even during the school day and during those scary times. I supported her, but not every single time she texted. For example if I saw a complaint come via text during 1st period (she would take her phone to the bathroom to text me when she was upset) I waited a few hours and then texted back during her lunch hour “sorry was in a meeting—how did it turn out?” And by then she had calmed herself down and figured things out.

It’s okay for teens to be in uncomfortable situations (as long as they’re not in danger). It will help them learn to handle things in the future when they’re on their own. We aren’t helping if we are constantly trying to solve their problems for them. Doing that takes away their belief in themselves that they CAN handle difficult situations without mom or whomever to support them in every situation.

Being bored on a beach week is not an emergency and I wouldn’t have let my kid come home for that. It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t “classic beach week” for her, but she’s fine. I’m glad she ventured out by herself, THAT shows resilience.[/quote]

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