Reply to Poll: What killed the sex life with your spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH expected me to be a martyr mom, and probably was incapable of seeing me as both his sex partner and a mom at the same time. He looked down on me for wanting to ignore the baby for a bit while we talked or had sex. He stopped liking who I am because of that. He also felt that he wasn't "needed" any longer once our first child was born. He would mope around complaining that he should be like a salmon that just dies after mating because he had no more purpose. He didn't want to go on date nights and when we did leave DC with family or a sitter, he'd cut the evening off as soon as possible and guilt trip me about wanting to stay out any longer.

DH was in his early 40s when we had kids. We both worked full time and were exhausted. He blamed his low libido on me rather than considering that maybe lack of sleep and middle age had caught up to him. He is one of those people who won't seek medical treatment to fix problems. He also went through that "I'm turning 50 and didn't fulfill all my dreams" phase that was incredibly annoying. I offered that he could quit his job to pursue a business idea he had and I'd pay the bills, but he wouldn't take me up on that. Instead, he got more and more depressed and retreated to his home office and computer. At the end, I felt like I tried everything but he just wasn't interested in marriage any longer, much less sex. [/quote]

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