Reply to Boyfriend is celibate until marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The concerns about addiction and a history of compulsive or impulsive sexual behavior are valid. And sure, he has every right to set boundaries. But it's a sharp all or nothing type contrast and avoidance alone doesn’t necessarily mean he’s addressing the root of his past behavior. It might be more like trying to put a band-aid on a fire hydrant and hoping for the best.[/quote]

In terms of addiction, this tracks. There's "dry drunk" (aka white-knuckling through not drinking, sometimes for years), and there's "in recovery" or sober, where someone has unpacked their addiction, built support structures to prevent relapse, taken responsibility for their past decisions/behavior, etc.

A sex/love/porn addict who is simply not engaging in those behaviors may not have actually addressed why they engaged them in the first place. That may be the root of his fear of intimacy, especially if he hasn't developed other coping skills to replace his possible addiction. There are groups for this: https://slaafws.org/ and https://slaavirtual.org/characteristics/ and probably others. Depending on the level of discussion y'all are having about this situation, you might want to bring them up: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-lies-trauma/201106/sex-and-love-addiction-whats-the-difference[/quote]

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