Reply to Including young adult not on good terms with in family vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For people saying OP must include the adult child, at what point do you think OP is off the hook for paying for an adult child's vacation? My parents stopped paying for me after I finished college, which seems reasonable.  They also took my younger siblings on spring break trips when I was in college, which I couldn't attend because our spring breaks didn't align.  This also seems reasonable.  [/quote]
When I turned 18 yo, my parents told me that they wouldn't buy Christmas presents for adult children.  I was the oldest so I stopped getting Christmas presents Freshman year of college.  I would come home on break and on Christmas morning I'd watch my siblings open extravagant presents while I got nothing. Zip.  When my siblings became adults 5-7 years later, my parents decided that Christmas would be awful without presents so they revised the rule, so then adult children would get presents, but not married children (i.e., me).  It was pretty darn awful. I guess I'd just make sure whatever threshold you set you actually stick to--you can't bend the rule in a few years because you want to go on vacation with your younger children without being an awful person.

[b]It's also super rude to invite someone on a vacation you know they can't afford[b].[/quote]
This is interesting (I’m OP). Isn’t not being able to afford trips a natural consequence of not going to college? (Esp when that college was paid for you). Do we really need to help finance trips because this child can’t afford it when others can because they went to college? That doesn’t seem like behavior I’d like to encourage. [/quote]
They're an adult.  You treat them like someone you care about and don't rub it in that they can't afford a vacation.  You don't have to pay for them, but you don't get to be a jerk about it and rub it in by inviting them when you know they can't afford it.  [/quote]

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