Reply to Including young adult not on good terms with in family vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have experience with this as the kid who was left out.

If you leave them out and your other children are invited, there are ramifications. From there on out, they are correct to be bitter about you.

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What is their responsibility to be respectful? Is it ok to announce you only came on the trip because “it’s free”, etc? [/quote]

These are just words. They don't have as much weight as rejecting a young adult. Why has this person not succeeded? If their cognitive reasoning isn't great, then it stands to reason that they would also blurt out hurtful stuff without thinking. They will probably not change, but do they actually hate you, OP? Probably not.
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DP
I used to say mean things to my mom and there is nothing wrong with my cognition.  I didn't even realize how much rage I had for her at the time or why I couldn't control saying terrible things.  Years later i realized I was the product of emotional neglect.  She even admits openly to leaving me in my crib or locked in my room all day because she "couldn't stand me" - from infancy.  Now when I'm older and successful she wants a relationship and wonders why I'm so spiteful.  I spent years mourning a relationship we can never have.  I always went when I was invited- hoping for the love she could never give.  I'm sensing something similar here.  OP probably doesn’t realize how horrible she is.  After all, my mom says her only problem is that she "loved me too much" f-ing ridiculous.[/quote]

DP, I had a mom like this too. The book Mother Hunger was helpful. Library has it. [/quote]

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