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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have sympathy for all the women here in sexless marriages.

Is it an ED issue for you? In other words, if they could longer have PIV and Viagra (doesn't work all the time and for everyone) fails to help, would you be okay on other forms of sex and intimacy.

The reason I ask this question is that I have noticed when I have sex with a woman and I don't ejaculate she feels as if either I didn't enjoy it or I am into her etc. I feel like for us men when it comes to sex women expect us to always be ready wrong erection, ejaculation etc...Or is it just a perception that's wrong? [/quote]

I definitely associate erection with arousal. If my partner can't get it up, it very much feels like he's not into me. He says otherwise, but his heart rate doesn't go up, his eyes don't go glassy... all that physiological stuff that signals sexual interest is absent. And that's a big turnoff.

I posted above about being in a mostly sexless marriage with my best friend, who I would not leave over sex. He's always willing to focus on me, but it's clear he isn't aroused. And that's most of what gets ME going. So if he's not into it, I'm not into it. And yes, I have tried many times to forge ahead and hope he catches up. He rarely does. And after, it's like he just had a good meal or something. No woozy pillow talk, no sweaty snuggling, just "that was great babe, good night!" Ugh, I don't even like thinking about how I feel after one-sided sex. [/quote]

Look up "mindfulness". I think he is "absent" during sex. He needs to learn to be present. "Mindfulness" teaches you to be present. It's very hard though. It requires dedication and patience.

It helped me regained my sexual mojo back. In the past when I had sex as soon as I came I got and just didn't want to even touch my partner I was just done. Sometimes during sex I would have partial erections sometimes no erection. Sex was like a chore to please my partner. I saw therapist no help. I saw a urologist no help. Viagra Cialis didn't help. I was at loss until I saw a post on Reddit about "mindfulness". [/quote]

NP. I have tried to express this to my partner. He’s so disassociated from himself he doesn’t even understand that he is.

Genuinely happy you found the connection. [/quote]

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