Reply to Did I learn from my divorce or am I still in the honeymoon phase?

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Reply to "Did I learn from my divorce or am I still in the honeymoon phase?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will also say that if you felt compelled to write about this here, but then every time someone points out that you are probably still in the honeymoon phase you try to counter their argument, then I think you are engaging dishonestly because you have a nagging fear that you are going to repeat the same mistakes, but this time you'll be an old, exhausted dad with a second family. So you post here, people are like "yup, sounds like you are just in the honeymoon phase," and you say, "Not so! I really HAVE changed!" You're trying to soothe that nagging little voice but no one forced you to come here asking this question . . . you did it because your subconscious is concerned.[/quote]

OP here. I am indeed concerned because I don't want to repeat prior mistakes. Many who have commented have made valid points. It's just that part of me wishes I truly learned. Of course time will tell. I briefly did therapy and it helped and I am not opposed to more. It was hard for me to do therapy in the first place because I felt I didn't need it. But it was helpful and it led me not to date or see anyone even for casual sex for close to 2 years. [/quote]

You don’t seem to be answering questions that might help people determine if you are mainly in the honeymoon phase or have made personal changes.  You kind of gloss over them.

What are the current custody arrangements and how old are your children?

Are you at a different phase of your career, where you feel like you don’t have to work as much?

Does your girlfriend have children?

How often do you see your girlfriend during the week?[/quote]

OP here.

1) we have 50/50. We have 5-2-2-5 arrangement. On the weeks I have my kids 2 times a week I see her the other 5 days. On the weeks I have them 5 days I see her once or twice. My kids are 17 and 13. Both have fully funded 529 for public schools. If they want graduate education I can't finance that.

2) I could retire today if I wanted to. I own 10 rental apartments that are paid off. After all expenses taxes and maintenance the monthly cash flow is $9k.My 401k is well funded as well

3) she has a 6 years old daughter [/quote]
You can finance grad school, you just don’t want to. Or you’re being cautious in case you produce more kids. Make sure your existing kids know.[/quote]

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