Reply to Brother and SIL's parenting bordering or actual abuse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. I feel you so much OP. My sister has kids slightly younger and who probably have ASD and/or ADHD. She won’t let them be tested. She and her husband are divorcing and she’s being a terrible parent. She spanked one of the kids for saying she should quit telling lies when my sister was saying horrible things about their father.

I live far away. I can’t offer to babysit. All I can do is be a shoulder to cry on. It sucks. In my case, at least if my sister is deemed bad enough to lose custody, their father is loving and competent and would have more time with them. In your case the parents are a team so if they’re not able to parent the kids wind up in foster care. Sometimes that works out ok.  I’d stick with the devil I know. Of course if you’re willing and able to take the kids if their parents are deemed unfit, that could be better, but take on that fight and lose and the kids lose you as an ally. You know their parents won’t keep you in their lives if they feel threatened by you.

People like bold talk about reporting abusive parents, but often it just makes parents angrier and doesn’t really help the kids. Sometimes the best you can do is have your own relationship with the kids, prove yourself trustworthy to them, and be a soft place to land if they need it. [/quote]

I know you live far away, but try to visit now and then and take the kids so the mom can get some respite.  You see how hard it is, so please try to help out how you can.[/quote]

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