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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine got let go from his job in January and has told me he never plans on working another W2 job again. He's 39. I'm torn, because he's not sitting around doing nothing, he's turned his side hustle into a full-time business which is great. I am trying my best to be supportive.

However, the household management load and care of our two young DCs (one with HFA) has never come close to being evenly distributed, even though I've always worked full time. I've had it up to here after many discussions and arguments that go nowhere. And with him not working right now yet still not stepping up more, I am seething with resentment, and it has cause a massive loss of respect.

I am glad he's motivated with his business, but I'm not letting go of the expectation that, for example, I can trust him to watch our 10-month old DD for longer than 15 minutes without being zoned out on Tik Tok and neglecting her.

If he finally steps up in this regard, I'll be OK with him not working a W2. But in our latest discussion today, I did not mince words and said our marriage cannot continue the way it's been, and gently outlined actionable steps I would be taking to stop enabling him. He knows I am dead serious, but complains that I expect too much. God forbid he wash some dishes or clean a bathroom once in a while. I am holding my ground. To be continued...[/quote]

I don’t know what to say except good luck. And how did this happen to you?!?  Did he pretend to be someone he wasn’t before you got married and he only showed his true colors/uselessness after kids?  I am engaged and am terrified that something like this could happen to me.  I wish you the best and stand your ground.  [/quote]

Thank you. And it's the classic tale as old as time with undiagnosed ADHD. Before marriage and during honeymoon phase without as many life demands, fine and dandy. He even did chores. Now, a hot ass mess. Gets overstimulated with HFA DS behaviors, yells at kids, shuts down and scrolls tik tok for hours, and is only hyper-focused on building his business. I have sent him information on Psychiatrists who specialize in ADHD management and all he has to do is make the call. All I can say is that I'm giving it another year, with loving support yet firm expectations, before going nuclear.[/quote]

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