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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi DCUM. I've been with my boyfriend for one year and we are starting to talk about me meeting his kids. His divorce parenting plan says the other parent has the option to meet a significant other before the kids do. I'm happy to do that, but I feel like his ex-wife has already laid an awkward foundation by doing things like driving by his house and asking repeatedly via text why my car is there (on his non-kid days) or making little jabs at him at extended family parties in front of everyone such as "well aren't you just such a great catch for OP" or alluding [b]to the fact that I'm a young gold digger[/b] (I'm 3 years younger than him and own a business doing really well/we do not share finances at all).

Anyway, what would you suggest in this situation- coffee, lunch, a drink? I'm thinking it'd be best to meet her by myself without boyfriend, do you agree? What do we talk about? I know a lot about the kids even though I haven't met them, but boyfriend and I talk about parenting all the time, but is it inappropriate to make small talk about her kids? Obviously not going to discuss my relationship. I guess I can chit chat about work or hobbies. Is the right mindset that I'm not searching for her approval, but more so extending the courtesy of supporting their parenting plan?

I'm a really empathetic person and often find myself talking my boyfriend down and explaining what ex-wife's experience or POV must be like and I wish she could give me the benefit of the doubt, but it seems like my existence really bothers her already even though she is the one who left the marriage in a really crazy, publicly self-destructive way.

Anyone been through similar?[/quote]

I'm really confused. You say it's a fact that you're a gold digger but then try to suggest you are not. Which is it?

How long have they been divorced? How old are the kids? Does she have a partner? Why did they divorce? All of these things might help give you advice.[/quote]

She said that is was EX thinks of her, not how OP feels.[/quote]

No, OP literally said "it's a fact" that she's a gold digger.[/quote]

I say this kindly, but your reading comprehension isn't good, or else you read through your own lens and didn't fully grasp what OP is saying. She is saying that this is what the Ex is saying about her, when in fact she is only three years younger and has her own business. She is NOT a young gold digger. I will grant you that OP's explanation could have been better. But you need to be able to understand the OP in its entirety. She should have said, WHEN IN FACT I'm 3 years young and own my own business. That would have been clearer.

"[b]well aren't you just such a great catch for OP" or alluding to the fact that I'm a young gold digger (I'm 3 years younger than him and own a business doing really well/we do not share finances at all).[/b][/quote]

The problem is not my reading comprehension. I have superior reading comprehension. Hence my ability to point out that she literally wrote "alluding to the fact that I'm a gold digger." That is stating she is a gold digger. It might not have been what she meant, but, again, my reading comprehension is not the problem here. I'm also obviously brighter than you if you need this explained.[/quote]

I read that comment as the ex wife calling the OP a gold digger. Or implying she's one.  Nothing more nothing less.
I don't get gold digger from OP .. She has her own company and prob does well for herself. OP also mentioned they do not mix any money.

[/quote]

This is good reading comprehension.[/quote]

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