Reply to Help me learn what to think during major tantrums

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a child like this, and everybody in the family can’t walk on eggshells trying to figure out what they might do for this child to explode.

First, I went to a psychologist to teach me how to parent this child. Basically, I kinda did the opposite with this child that I did with my other children, which was instead of putting them in timeout, etc by themselves I sat with them and showed them how to breathe through feelings.

Eventually, when the child was about third grade they went to a psychologist himself, and they learned about recognizing the feelings inside their body that might lead to an outburst. As soon as I felt those feelings, they learned how to remove themselves from the situation, breathe it out, understand why the situation was making them mad it might not make other people mad.

Also, my child did meditation apps because if you bring the anxiety level down when they do get frustrated, they’re not as close to outbursts as if they don’t meditate.

I also have this child do lots of sports to burn off energy.[/quote]

Great post. My kid like this is now in 3rd grade and totally agree you have to parent kids like this differently. Some kids just do not have big, intense feelings. So when they get upset, you can put them in a time out or just say "sorry, I won't talk to you about this until you change your tone" or whatever. Highly sensitive kids will respond to this as rejection, and their response just gets bigger. It's not that they are taking advantage of you or trying to manipulate you, they just genuinely cannot handle the intensity of their emotional reaction, it makes them highly reactive to criticism and punishment, and the whole thing can just spiral. These kids need more instruction and help with managing their emotions because their emotions are very strong.

My kid like this has actually become incredibly articulate about emotions and has a well above average ability to identify emotions and explain them. Just because she's been working on it since age 5 or so, and has spent so much time with me and others learning how to manage her intense feelings. She still struggles sometimes but it's SO much easier than it was a few years ago. Challenges are learning opportunities and highly emotional kids have the capacity to become very emotionally intelligent kids because they get so many opportunities to work through tough emotions.[/quote]

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