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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parent of 16, 14 and 12 yo here. OP should wait until late ES or MS to dial back. It's actually very useful when kids are younger to have childcare for the younger siblings and a flexible job. It was more difficult for SAH parents who had a young child at home to volunteer because they had to either tag along or the parent had to find a sitter for them. It's also not that hard to plan out the summer during the ES years. There are a million camp options or summer nannies to choose from. Now, I do admit my older DCs were in ES school in FCPS before they started having so many days off. It would have been more difficult to deal with a calendar like the one for next year with multiple 4 and 5 day weekends.

I started reducing my hours when my oldest was in MS. She had a few after school activities and needed picked up at 3:30 or 4:00. Then she was playing a fall sport at high school, with practices starting at the beginning of August, the younger sibling was in MS, and youngest was into a travel sport. There were a lot of schedules to coordinate that couldn't have happened if I was in the office from 9-5.

These are the years that I think really matter since they're the last few you have before launching them into college. While I'm not a SAHP, most of my work hours align with the school schedule now. This is definitely not the time I'd be wanting to go back to work if I had scaled back while they were in ES.[/quote]

Upper elementary and up kids start getting very involved in sports. I have kids in both public and private. Public middle school doesn’t have school sports and these kids would get out at 230 and you have to drive your kid to travel or AAU sports. We know kids who do gymnastics, dance, tennis, soccer, baseball, basketball, etc that all require a ton of driving. Carpooling is terrible at this age as kids don’t all live in the same neighborhood and games, matches and tournaments are all over the place. My private school kid at least has middle school practice at school but his matches are all over the DMV at 245! A surprisingly high number of parents make it to their games in the middle of the day.

High school kids who can’t yet drive also require a ton of driving. Any kid who trains or competes at anything at a high level whether it is sports, art, music, science, debate, anything also require driving.

Of course you can choose to not be involved [b]but I believe these tween teen years are when kids need you the most. [/b]This is when you should cut down and be flexible. DH is at the peak of his career and I’m a SAHM and he is trying to cut back his house. Our oldest is 16 and he wants to attend his sports games at 4 and our other son’s sports games at 2:45.[/quote]

+100000.  I feel bad for mothers who quit their jobs with babies and plan to return later. It’s easy to hire a nanny or sign up for daycare. You can’t really hire a nanny for a 12 year old and they need their parents.  If you can’t manage to work with a three year old, I don’t see how you manage later.

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Pp here. My kids really struggled in different ways in middle school. One kid hit a slump and almost quit the sport he played his whole life. It was also covid time and he suffered socially. He is now a straight all AP student in high school and excels at his sport. In middle school, there was a math gap and he didn’t do well in middle school math. We got him tutoring and now he is doing well in AP Calc. My other kid had a hard time either friendships in both 7th and 8th grade but now has a fantastic group of friends and thriving. These changes may seem like moody teenagers but they are really struggling.[/quote]

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