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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try to focus more on what infirmity you’re trying to avoid rather than what age. My mom is 82 and flies all over the country alone to see her grandkids and takes guided tours abroad by herself. She’s in great health and living it up.[/quote]

Not OP but trying to gain better understanding of truly independent elderly people.
Do you ever feel like your mom depends on you in any way, be it emotionally or in terms of competence? Like she needs help sorting out financial things?
My 80 yo father is more or less ok physically but he needs my help managing anything that’s beyond his everyday tasks, and even some of those. It is honestly extremely daunting. My friends’ parents are even worse as they are also less healthy and more demanding usually. 
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My parents are 79 and 81. They live together in their own home and walk the dog 3x/day. My dad has had 2 hips and 1 knee replaced, but drives to the gym 3x/week where he lifts weights and walks on the treadmill. Last summer, he (stubbornly and stupidly) insisted on painting the outside of their house. It's one-story, but still! So terrible. But he was capable of doing it all himself--moving he ladder and climbing it and standing up there painting, then climbing down, moving the ladder, and up again. It took him longer than it would have 20 years ago, but he did it. (I told my mom that if he fell, she should go out there with a shovel and finish him off, and I was only half joking.) He used the snowblower to clear their driveway several times this winter. He is also a voracious reader of all kinds of literature and history. He does the NYT crossword every morning. My mom has congestive heart failure and ovarian cancer. But both are well controlled (over the past year her CT scans have showed no evidence of cancer). She also still drives, and goes to the gym 3x/week where she mostly walks on the treadmill. She was concerned about her flagging core/glute strength, so she's now working with a PT on strengthening, and it's making a difference. She gardens, belongs to a bookclub, and gets together with a group of friends to play cards every month. She plays online scrabble with her sister. She manages their many medications and doctors appointments and pays their bills and does their taxes. In May, they are planning to drive 400 miles (over 2 days) to attend a grandchild's college graduation. In August, they will drive 100 miles for their annual week with friends on a lake.

Limitations: my mom can't walk up hills or stairs without getting winded. She has some neuropathy in her fingers and toes from the chemo she was on. My dad's hearing isn't great and sometimes he seems a little less sharp than he used to be. And when he had surgery last year, I went up to stay with them because the hospital is 45 miles from their home and I didn't want my mother to have to drive up and back (at night) by herself several days in a row. So they aren't 100% independent. But this hardly seems notable to me.

My ILs died at age 95 and 100. They lived together in their own home, without outside support, until their late 80s. Then a slow decline. My MIL's last several years were dismal. So I know what's likely coming with my parents. But I am grateful for what they have now.

75 doesn't seem that old to me.[/quote]

I don’t consider driving anywhere to be a sign of youthfulness or vitality.

Fact is most parents drive well past the age they should because they refuse to hand over the keys…not because it’s a display of good health.

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