Reply to Why do people blame their siblings over parental favoritism? What is the appropriate response?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your viewpoint on this has A LOT to do with whether you were the favored or unfavored one.

It’s extremely hard to grow up as the favored child and not develop a sense of entitlement, minimize or disagree with whatever resentment the unfavored feels, and expect to always be treated as favored. In fact you may bristle at the idea your unfavored sibling doesn’t hold you in the same regard as your parents did.

If you are the unfavored one, you either march forward keeping the favored one on the pedestal, smiling while being crapped on by parents and develop an insecurity problem. It’s extremely hard to grow up not resenting all the people involved in making you feel less than when you were growing up. Often the healthiest path forward is to make a clean break, build your own life, your own family and leave the dysfunction behind you. [/quote]

Or just don't sit in a pile sniveling about your childhood when you are an adult. Also your siblings are not going to become your emotional slaves and beg for your forgiveness when you claim they were terrible and the parents were terrible and your life has suffered as a result. These siblings are fully formed humans who experienced the time period you are talking about and remember that you didn't like being told no, your emotional outbursts were not tolerated, and you made poor decisions in school and with friends. So your "let's reminisce about how awful you are mom, dad, and sis, and bro" is just going to remind them they were glad to be able to grow up and stop living with you. [/quote]

Ouch. You need to think about therapy for how you perceive your upbringing.

[/quote]

I don't think about my childhood. To do so is silly. I have a fully adult life. I only had to think about it when sibling brought up the foolishness about "you all were terrible to me and ruined my life but I love you so much, how do you want to imrove how you behave?". Her bringing it up made me disrespect her, because of the pure contempt she has had for us for decades, while passive aggressively demanding love from us. [/quote]

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