Reply to Is this crazy? (Staying in starter home)

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Is this crazy? (Staying in starter home)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I live in a small home (2 bed, 2 bath condo) but I think that's too small because teenagers need some measure of privacy. You can't expect 3 teens to share a bedroom and not resent you for not trying to do better, I'm sorry. My older sister has to share a room with me when she was in a freshman/sophomore in high school and I actually think it ruined our sibling relationship because she resented me so much for it (even though I had no control over the situation).

We do fine with 2 bedrooms because we only have one kid. [/quote]

I was just running my college kid back to her college dorm after coming home for two nights. She's stressed, so I'll give her some grace for this, but it is not the first time I have heard it: She wishes we had had a bigger house. Even when she comes home, she feels like she can't study in her room or have a private conservation, because our house is too small for there to be any privacy. Ours is about 1700, 3 bedrooms, just 4 of us--2 adults, 2 kids. But it's hard not to be able host family. The kids never invited friends over because there was nowhere for them to hang out. I wanted to renovate an unfinished basement for them, but my husband wouldn't budge, so I am filled with resentment, and I hear it from my kids, too. Just giving you the flip side of the coin here. Sure, we have saved, but at what cost?[/quote]

I'm the PP with the 1200 sq ft house. When the kids were little, the neighbor kids always came over. We hosted parties in our house and (small backyard). 20-30 people. Now they're young adults and teens, they bring just a few friends. My college kid uses noise canceling headphones if his sister and her friends are too noisy, but if anyone's concentrating for something important like exam review, or taking a work call, etc, everyone else is quiet. It's all part of being respectful and having good manners.

You guys need to stop blaming your lack of space, and work on your social anxiety and social skills instead. [/quote]

I'm the PP who lives in the 2 bedroom condo with one kid and I think different people have different needs. Yes people live in small spaces all over the world. But also some people needs space and privacy and if you pack too many people into a very small space, it can become very stressful for them. This is true in the US and it's also true in Europe and Tokyo and Shanghai and other places where it's normal to live in small apartment homes.

We chose to have just one kid in part because I know, after growing up in a large family with very limited space, that feeling like I have no privacy has a serious impact on my general sense of well being. I think no matter where you go in the world, if you find families with 3 kids, you will discover that most of them want a little bit of space. It doesn't have to be some 4000 sq ft McMansion in the suburbs. It might just be an apartment with another bedroom or a layout that would enable them to split a bedroom in half for extra space. Especially as kids get older.

I'm obsessed with small spaces, since I live in one, and watch a ton of online content about living in small homes and making the most of your space. Almost none of it features families with more than 2 kids. In most places all over the world, people with larger families prefer bigger spaces. It's not some kind of personality defect, it's just practical.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics