Reply to European families appear so perfect with such well-behaved children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate to romanticize European parenting/lifestyle, but I cannot help but notice this every time I'm in France. We go to Paris twice a year to visit DH's parents so it's not just a one time coincidence. By and large children from as young as toddlers all the way up to teens seem better behaved and socialized. Authoritarian parenting does not explain it because often I notice the parents are more relaxed as well, especially the moms. I don't speak French so I don't have any close friendships with French moms, but the ones I have chatted with over the years through DH all shared one thing: they were able to take a long maternity leave (2-3 years) and then ease back into working with a part-time job that allowed them to continue supporting the kids, and still paid decently/aligned with their professional interests. So they are less stressed and overall more.. fulfilled (?) than I am, because they have less anxiety and guilt over the series of questions we see all the time here: do I become a SAHM? for how long? when do I get back to work? what about lost earning potential? killing my career? HOW do i even find a job after 3-5 years off?

Relatedly, they stress so much less about their kids. I'm not afraid to admit that while my kids are still in elementary school, I do occasionally worry about their "futures" - where they can get into college, how they are going to afford housing in expensive metro areas, are they going to end up OK - and I never get this sense of anxiety from French moms. They seem more hands-off which is counterintuitive to the idea that you need more discipline and active management for well behaved kids.  I wish someone can explain to me how less micromanaging, less worry and anxiety about your kids can result in better behaved kids. 
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This is easy.  Children thrive when they understand rules and expectations.  Modern parenting leaves the children to set the rules, which is stressful in its own right.  You are actually making things more difficult for your children by being permissive.  It's so messed up.[/quote]

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