Reply to Why is my husband so nasty to me when I get sick?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends on whether this is just part of a larger pattern and whether he can discuss it honestly when you tell him it hurts your feelings.

My xDH did/does this. It’s like he specifically amps up the nastiness at the moment I am most vulnerable. He also does it to our child. He appears to have a total inability to support others when they need him. After years of taking my sick kid to the doctor or ER in an uber by myself and being the only parent caring for our child when sick, you can imagine how our relationship deteriorated.

Part of the issue is plain selfishness and lack of empathy. But another part is being affirmatively triggered into hostility when he saw us sick. If I had to guess, I would say it was part of his overall inability to deal with any sort of demand or conflict - he saw a sick family member as making a demand on him and it made him angry. [/quote]

My exDH was also like this.  Even his hangovers - he was once so hungover after a wedding about 45-60 min away (I stayed back in the hotel room with our toddler after the ceremony) that he refused to wake up in time to leave for another commitment that morning.  I also developed pink eye overnight and had to drive like that in my glasses b/c he was too drunk/hungover to drive back. Then he slept til dinner time.  He was like that when sick, too.  Of course, if I even touched my stomach b/c it hurt, he'd yell at me.

The worst part in all this is now seeing how it's bled onto DC.  He has told them outright they don't have an illness when they do and now DC feel compelled to always be "healthy" around him. There is no other option.  [/quote]

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