Reply to Do you regret not pushing your kid harder?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Do you regret not pushing your kid harder?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 26-year-old oldest son and I had a long conversation yesterday, and he told me that he wished that I would have pushed him much harder into music and sports activities when he was younger.

I put him to take piano and guitar at the age of six, golf at the age of six, and tennis at the age of seven.  It was a constant struggle with him from the age of six until he turned eleven, because he said to me that he hated them.  He was really into academics and fought me every step along the way.  I gave up on him about music/sports at the age of eleven.  He graduated from an Ivy and is making a lot of money; however, he feels like he doesn't have anything else in his life.  He wants to learn music and golf, but it is going to take a long time for him to learn.  His dating life, according to him, is not that great either because, according to him, women are looking for guys with other qualities besides bringing home a big paycheck.

On the other hand, his 24-year-old younger brother was the complete opposite.  He also started piano, music, golf and tennis at the age of six, and he took them very seriously until he left for college.  He never complained about pushing him to do those things.  He went to a state school and made so many friends there.  He makes good money but his life, according to him, is very good.  He plays sports and music with friends on most weekdays and weekends, and he also has a very busy dating life with a lot of women to choose from.  He attributes that to how he was pushed by me as a child, and now he is benefitting from it.

Do you regret not pushing your kid harder?[/quote]i think this is not a matter of pushing him harder at some earlier point in life.

Your two sons have different personalities and it seems that your older son may now envy for the type of balance he sees in his younger brother’s life.

So what do you do? Just tell your son he has worked really hard to achieve a top education and career, and that at some point (now?) it is okay for him to do some different things for enjoyment. It is never too late for him to try a new sport (swimming, pickleball, running,…) and learn a new instrument. There are so many in person or online classes. There are lots of informal music groups he could join.

But let him know that he and his brother are two different people and it is okay for them to have different paths in life.

Good luck!!![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics