Reply to When your husband sleeps like a baby bc you’re the keeper of all the things

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[quote=Anonymous]My self-absorbed and oblivious husband is divorcing me for his AP, so he gets to find out just how disengaged he is.

This past weekend our daughter caught the stomach bug and projectile vomited all over a public place. I was worried about her overnight, of course, but she was at her dad's house. In the morning I texted him to ask for an update. "She seems to have slept through the night. I didn’t hear a peep from her." I texted the family group chat too, and she replied, "Bad! I threw up all night and [soiled] myself three times." So then STBX had to text me back, "Ooof. I guess I was wrong." Yeah, ya think?

My therapist says I over-functioned to make up for his deficits, and now I don't have to do that anymore, but it means our kids are learning just how unreliable he is. And so I need to weigh whether to step in on their behalf or whether to let him drop the ball. And they need to learn how to advocate for themselves with him. Ultimately it's better for all of us but yeah, it's annoying. STBX texted me yesterday that he was "somewhat hurt" and "somewhat annoyed" that he called our 13 year old three times and she declined his call each time. Gee, I wonder why she doesn't want to talk to you, and sure, I can totally see how this is something for me to manage for you. Like sir, if you wanted me to keep handling all your stress you shouldn't have run off with another woman.  :roll: [/quote]

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