Reply to Divorce when kids go to college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was the kid in this scenario.  I don't know why people seem to think it doesn't cause issues.  I had a ton of guilt feeling like I was the cause my parents stayed miserable for so long.  Then I was angry at them for making me live in that environment.  It was just so unpleasant, the animosity was obvious.  Then I was resentful of the stress it added on to my freshman year and the difficulty it added on to an already difficult transition in my life.

I didn't go home my entire first year, not even for Christmas.

It took quite awhile for my parents and I to repair our relationships.   [/quote]

That sounds rough, PP. I don’t think freshman year is a good time to divorce. [/quote]

Honestly, there’s never a good time. Someone who took it this hard when they were a freshman in college would probably be even more devastated as a freshman in high school. Maybe navigating two households and the stress of the transition would have derailed her college chances completely.

There’s never a “good” time. [/quote]
The parents should work to save the marriage. What a failure![/quote]

I am the original poster.   It takes two people to make a marriage work.   Unfortunately my spouse has made it clear with actions and words that it is not a priority for her. I regret staying in the marriage as long as I have, it’s been 5 or so years of misery and I highly suspect infidelity 3 or so years ago.

Up until 5 or 6 months ago I would initiate conversations with her and she would gas light and say wait until kids are in college.  Then a week later start talking about life 5 years from now like we were staying together.   Nothing loving or caring, things like home projects, beach condo stuff like that, basically things she needs to stay married to me to have or potentially have.   Like I said earlier, she would happily stay in the marriage as I provide and handle things, she just doesnt want to participate in the marriage. I can not think of one single thing she brings to this relationship anymore.   [/quote]

Sounds like my ex. Found out it was an affair while my oldest still had one year of HS left. I waited 2 more years until younger one graduated and filed after first semester of college. She would have been happy to continue living off of my dime and demanding more and more luxury etc- I think she was shopping for an exit affair so she would never have to work. [/quote]

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