Reply to 60% of girls say they want college, only 46% of boys

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.[/quote]

You either do not have a son, or you are one of a small minority who has some kind of fall in line, do only as moms and teachers say type. I paid immense amounts of attention to my son. To the OP's point, it was actually to the detriment of my daughter two years younger than him. He required so much attention--and as a college senior limping to the finish line, still does. Our schools went so far in accommodating the learning styles of girls that boys have been left far far behind. My son is objectively (I know, we had to have him tested three times) extremely intelligent. Far more so than my daughter. But he failed at so many things in school that his self-esteem was in the basement. Now that he has matured, he recognizes clearly what happened. He doesn't blame women, fortunately, but he has so much regret that he wasn't able to better advocate for himself, rather than spending his first 18 years of life constantly berated and demeaned by teachers. My husband and I were just noticing last night that of the 6 or so boys who all grew together in our neighborhood, every single one of them has struggled to finish college. Two of them look like they won't make it. They were just so ground down going through school they have nothing left to keep going. [/quote]

I have the same experience with a boy who gets so much attention from us as parents, but still struggles. He’s in college and is ahead, but at what cost? His self esteem took a hit in high school where teachers make it seem like ADHD or differences in learning for boys reflect their character. So many just write boys off as lazy. My son tries, and he’s objectively smart (99th percentile IQ, SAT, etc.), but has a hard time with rote learning and memorization. I feel like schools try to grind this type of kid down to nothingness and call them lazy. Then there’s the problem that boys have a lot of peers who are in the same boat, which normalizes underachievement.

I don’t have the same struggle with my girls, but I also see how teachers react differently to them. TBH, I’ve never had a teacher imply my daughters are lazy or not trying when they make a mistake.

It’s not a boy mom thing—schools should be set up for most (at least least 80%) of students can really learn. [/quote]

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