Reply to Harsh comment on being a Sahm

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not usually a very strict parent, but if my 13 year old said that to me I would make them submit to a week where I: do not drive them anywhere, including their favorite sports and classes, make them take the school bus, make them make their own meals, stop cleaning the house or doing the dishes, and stop doing laundry. If they have no idea what adulting looks like, we need to show them.[/quote]

The thing is that all this gets done if both parents work. It’s not like their friends who have working parents don’t play sports, wear clean clothes or have dinner. Talk to your child about the pros and cons of staying home and why it works for you and DH and it may or may not work for then if they have families.[/quote]

I'm 16:49 (work part time) and people always say all the same things get done either way as if it's obvious everyone should work FT. For me, that's not the case. I mean obviously they can still eat and get dressed if I worked.40 hours, but I have worked more sometimes and it affects my mood, how my body feels, how tired I am, and more. I don't have as much time to be as involved in school or even homework. We won't have the same conversations, etc.

My kids absolutely wouldn't be able to be in as many activities if I worked more. Some other families will have different constraints where the money is more limiting than the time and energy or different preferences where they don't mind outsourcing certain things.

In the real world there will be some trade-offs from any decision. With real people involved, you can't just say all else is equal. That also goes for the person who is a better parent or more themselves when working more, but they are not me.[/quote]

There aren’t always trade-offs.

The fact that you are all in nothing about things is probably the problem.

But I don’t think there’s any negative side saying to your children. Some people can handle a lot and some people can’t handle a lot and I’m one of those people who can’t handle a lot and I’m sorry.

Just like there’s some people who make a lot of money and there’s some people who don’t make a lot of money and I’m somebody who doesn’t make a lot of money. I’m sorry that’s just who I am. That’s who you got as a parent.

If you want a different life, go out and make a different life but this is the life I created. I love it get over it.[/quote]

I don't relate at all to the idea that there aren't always trade-offs. All decisions about work or anything else involve trade-offs.[/quote]

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