Reply to Entering an EA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't do it OP. If your feelings for your work friend and his for you turn out to be real--it will be the most miserable and painful experience of your life.

I've been in an EA (infrequent and now ended PA because of guilt and shame) for over a decade. We love each other. Deepest confidants. Devoted friends. Long term commitment to be in each other lives. But we cannot be together. Neither of us can blow up families. (I know I'm about to get flamed. We both have extenuating circumstances in our marriages and in many ways, the emotional satisfaction from this relationship[b] has probably prolonged marriages[/b].) We try to keep a distance physically (the physical temptation makes it impossible to be alone) but we are each others  first phone call on the way to work, last text message before bed.

As much as I deeply love him, it is also what tortures me most. Even after all these years.

If you want to be with someone else, leave NOW and go be with that person. Getting into a forbidden love is honestly the worst possible thing. It will lead you nowhere but heartache and it will leave whatever chance you have to be happy in your marriage ruined.

Please take this advice. RUN. 
[/quote]

“But honey, I was banging my secretary to *save* our marriage!”[/quote]

It’s sometimes true, though. EA took away the feeling of resentment towards my spouse. I let many potential fights fizzle out, because there is a funny or sweet message on my phone, and I have no time or interest in arguing.[/quote]

In my case the resentment was building up because they were too busy reading the sweet or funny message on their phone instead of spending time with the family[/quote]

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