Reply to Entering an EA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oooh boy.

I'm the PP in the 10+ year EA.

Every situation is nuanced... and I think many EAs are based in love and respect.

If he is 10 years younger... he's looking for a story. DO NOT. I REPEAT DO NOT go there.  He is not your equal. He has nothing in common with you. Generation. He has never had kids.  You are not going to have a few more kids with this guy.

It screams heartache and massive life f@ckup.

RUN.

And yes.. to all that asked.. it would be better to divorce and be together until you calculate the massive destruction to 4 kids still living at home and  the nightmare that comes with divided assets in divorce--not to mention the plethora of reasons we married these people. My parents chose who I married...not unlike many cultures around the world.  I had expectations, obligations...it doesn't make the affair of the heart any less acceptable. But you can't help who you fall for.  If it had only been a few months earlier...

What I do know if that we've been highly committed to one another, without sex, for years. It's not lust or fantasy. It's love and it's swallowed me whole.

Run OP. RUN. [/quote]

OP. To be clear, I don’t want an actual relationship or anything with him. I don’t care if it’s a story for him.

It’s more, I get little attention from my H, I don’t see what the harm in me getting attention elsewhere is. [/quote]

This is how it starts. You think this now...but then the feelings come. The dopamine rush. The crash. The longing. Before you know it l, you'll be so focused on HIM and getting your needs met, that you subconsciously neglect kids and the problems with spouse get worse.

Don't say no one warned you.

For the record I totally get where you're coming from. I met a conscious  decision too because I was so lonely, sad, desperate and figured it was no harm. My life and my marriage are in shambles because I'm in love with someone else and everything I'm not getting in the marriage is 1000x more heightened. [/quote]

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