Reply to Anyone have a baby with second husband and have it turn out well with kids from first marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It can go so, so badly. The new person and their children can bring all kinds of problems into the family, and having an additional baby means the family has much less bandwidth to cope with the stress.

Remarrying adults tend to have rose-colored glasses on and dismiss their children's objections as being due to trauma, emotion, alienation, [b]jealousy[/b], etc. But sometimes the first batch of children is correct to raise these concerns. In my case, for example, my mom's partner is broke, depressive, has a poor employment history, and his adult children have money and drug problems. My mom sees these as blameless misfortunes and thinks we should all sympathize. But I think my mom could do a lot better than this guy, and that a lot of his problems are self-created and our family should not have to deal with it. Does she love him? I guess. But even though the retirees' dating scene isn't great I think she could do better than someone she has to financially support and basically parent. (And before you criticize me for wanting inheritance-- I know there won't be any, I'm just hoping he doesn't mooch so much that my mom runs out of money for herself.) Second marriages/long-term relationships are FRAUGHT. They can bring major major problems. Of course, his family loves my mom because she pays for him and takes care of him as if he's an additional child. So I guess they kinda do have another baby, unfortunately it was born a grown man.[/quote]
I find it fascinating nobody would criticize a woman if she was jealous her man ran off and had a second family, but if a woman has a second family the first batch of kids had better buck up.

It used to literally be illegal to have a second family, it was called bigamy. Now if you are a kid and your rear end is chapped about it your mom will put you in $150/hr therapy as if there is something wrong with you

The social rights has done alot of good things but it definitely has gone too far in this aspect. It has caused an immense amount of pain [/quote]

Well, the mom doesn't usually ghost the first set of kids or visit them a few times a year. She continues as the primary parent, she just forces them to live with her new husband and new kids. It can be bad (or it can be good), but it's not the same kind of thing. [/quote]

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