Reply to Anyone else at the “is this it?” stage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Read “how not to hate your husband after you have kids.”   Great book.

Delegate one thing to him entirely and don’t interfere/rescue.  Car maintenance doesn’t count - something about the kids.  [/quote]

OP. That’s not the issue. The issue is more I want the people in my life to care enough to delegate things themselves, rather than wait for me to assign tasks. Sort of the “I want you to WANT to do the dishes” thing.

The kids I understand because they’re kids, but also, every day when I try to get them up and out of the house to go do fun things and they just throw a fit the entire time….H just wanting to sit at home in a dirty house all zoned out on screens…just makes me wonder what the point of it all was. [/quote]

My guess is the times he has done things of his own initiative you have criticized the way he did it. Your description of your hyper vigilance over what AND how he does things is the tell. You have conditioned him to not take any initiative and to check with you first because he learned from the grief you gave him previously and doesn’t want to experience that again.

It’s a pretty common dynamic. [/quote]

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