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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your child is struggling with homesickness and adjusting to college life, which is completely normal, especially in the first year. Here are some things you might try to help with the transition:

1. Set Expectations for Staying on Campus – If they come home every weekend, they aren’t fully immersing themselves in college life. Encourage them to stay on campus at least every other weekend to start. Frame it as an experiment rather than a strict rule.

2. Validate Their Feelings – Let them know it’s okay to miss home, but remind them that discomfort is part of growing and that they will feel more at home if they give it time.

3. Encourage Small Steps Toward Engagement – They don’t need to jump into a bunch of activities all at once, but encourage them to try one new thing each week—attending a club meeting, going to a campus event, or studying with a classmate.

4. Help Them Find a Comfortable Space on Campus – If their dorm room doesn’t feel like home, maybe they can find a favorite study spot, coffee shop, or library space that feels welcoming.

5. Encourage Open Communication With the Roommate – Living with someone new is a challenge, and they might not become best friends. If issues arise, encourage direct but kind communication or seeking mediation from an RA.

6. Connect With Others in Similar Situations – A lot of freshmen feel the same way. Maybe they can find a classmate or another student who also goes home often and challenge each other to stay on campus one weekend.

7. Use Campus Resources – Many schools have counseling services, residence life support, or peer mentorship programs that could help them feel more connected.

Would they be open to setting a short-term goal, like staying on campus two weekends in a row or attending one club meeting in the next month? Sometimes small challenges like that make the adjustment feel more manageable.[/quote]

Wow.  You are really good at this.  I was going to recommend setting up the boyfriend to get busted cheating so she wouldn't want to come home any more.  I like your ideas better.[/quote]

This is just ChatGPT-generated drivel. [/quote]
Got it—you’re looking for something more real and actionable. Your kid is clearly struggling, and I imagine it’s tough on you too.

Here’s the bottom line: coming home every weekend is keeping them from adjusting. They might feel like home is their only safe space, but the more they rely on it, the harder it will be to feel comfortable at school.

What You Can Do:
1. Set a Hard Limit on Visits – Maybe they can come home once a month instead of every weekend. If that’s too much, start with every other weekend and then extend it.

2. Give Them a Reason to Stay on Campus – Help them find one thing to do over the weekend—a club meeting, a study group, a campus event. Offer an incentive if needed.

3. Cut Back on the "Come Get Me" Calls – If they call/text about wanting to come home, be supportive but don’t immediately offer to pick them up. Ask what they can do on campus to make things better at that moment.

4. Address the Roommate Issue Head-On – If the roommate is part of the problem, suggest they talk to their RA or look into a different living situation. But remind them that learning to live with different people is a life skill.

5. Remind Them That Growth Happens in Discomfort – College is supposed to be an adjustment. Let them know they don’t have to love every second of it, but they do need to give it a fair shot.

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