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[quote=Anonymous]A dad here. Had my share of struggles with my own parents, glad we made peace while both were still living. Miss both of them very much. Dealing with my own teens now & wonder how my parents stood me!

I've had friends with overbearing parents & friends with ungrateful children. We are all screwed up to some degree and some to extremes.

I suggest a disengagement. It takes 2 to fight. Don't call or visit, let her call or visit you. Be pleasant, don't "attack" or ask why she hasn't called before, etc. Say "good to hear from you", "how are you", innocent stuff like that. Don't unload problems when she asks same. "Doing OK". or something similar.If she starts on you about something just say you have to run, will talk later, thanks for calling and hang up. Let her do the fighting.

Keep it up awhile, let her do all the contacts. She can't say you are nagging or harassing her. You can alwasy say "you called me, I didn't call you."

Talk with husband about how much you will/will not do for her. Don't refuse something just to have DH give in or vice ersa. If you can't agree, do agree that 1 of you decides. "Talk with Dad about that". and let it go.

Maybe after some time, daughter will come around. Most children eventually mature & wise up while most parents mellow out in older years. Then it is possible to heal and move on together.

Meanwhile, rediscover your relationship with DH. Has it gotten stale? Rediscover movies, dinner out & wild sex at home (wild as you dare anyway). You can't change what happened in the past but don't let that rob you of your life now. You & DH owe it to yourselves to go on living and have a good life together.

BTW, how much $ have you spent with the therapist? I think they are highly overrated. They have their place, for sure but I have known a number of them who need more help than their patients. I knew a few people i ntherapy for years who never got past their problems. Try using some of that $ to live again or save for a rainy day. 
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