Reply to Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?

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Reply to "Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hells to the no.

And it has nothing to do with trusting your child, so stop trying to make the OP feel like she doesn't trust her DD if she doesn't let her go.

It's about parenting. You have no idea what these other kids will be like, even if your daughter is completely well-behaved the whole time. So many things can go wrong that will be out of your daughter's control and have nothing to do with how "good" she is.

I am really surprised at how naive some parents are!

As for the formerly "good" students who are now parents 1) trust us who were not so "good" when we kids (when away from our parents) when we tell you that we had parents fooled with our good grades but partied hard out of their sight and 2) maybe you can vouch for your child -- can you vouch for every other child there? Are you so close with the parents that you can vouch for them too?

Please -- not letting your 16-yr-old rent a beach house with 10 others (incl. guys) does not equal keeping your child under lock and key. [/quote]

This is a straw man.  No one is saying she should let her daughter go alone.  What I and other posters wrote was that OP should talk to the parents rather than make a blanket rule.

You can't keep your 16 year old under lock and key.  The trick is to make sure they have guidance, make sure they are safe (such as talking to the parents, sizing up the situation) while little by little also giving more freedom.  They need to enjoy that freedom while they are still living under your roof, while you are still doing things like making sure there are watchful parents on the trip.  because you don't want the to suddenly show up at college where there are no rules and no supervision never having exercised judgment, never having been exposed to situations where they have to exercise judgment.

If I thought the parents were not going to set rules and keep an eye out on the trip, I wouldn't let her go.  But if i thought they were, I would, even knowing that I can't control the situation completely.  because I can't control the situation completely here at home either (and you are dreaming if you think you can).  A middle way is the best approach.[/quote]

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