Reply to Really tough morning with teen - did I do the right thing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I am sorry you are getting all these replies that imply if you handled this better your child would not have blown up, or he is blowing up because you failed him or are too harsh.
Part of the problem with ADHD is that they blow up.  (The rates of ADHD of people in prison are way higher than the average population.)
I think the fact that he pushed your husband (whether your husband provoked it or not) is a hard line and needs to be dealt with seriously no matter what else is going on.  I would say not acceptable and he misses the ski trip.  This is your son's life and future, missing the ski trip would be the least of my concerns.[/quote]

As to your first sentence, I don’t think that’s what people are saying and it’s a defensive and emotionally immature way of looking at it.  Anyone should reflect on their role in a situation and contributing factors.  That’s it.  All the responses have been constructive.[/quote]

PP you are replying to.  The point I am trying to make is that imagine it's not kid and his dad, but kid and a cop. Cop tries to take something from him, and he pushes the cop.  Yeah, maybe both are somewhat at fault in therapy-world, but in the real world the cop is not reflecting on his actions and the kid is charged with assault.
The kid may have ADHD, and dad should not have physically taken the snowboard, but that is not an excuse for what the kid did, and he needs to understand that very clearly.  And OP cannot blame herself/her husband anytime they have to discipline her kid.  ADHD is tough to parent.
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A parent is not analogous to a cop.  [/quote]
Prison is full of people who were physical with their parents as children then one day as an adult got physical with somebody who is not their parent [/quote]

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