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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with OP regarding pushing her DD more.  I struggled with this with first DC. Very high stats. DC was aiming too high. They didn't have amazing activities, and thought the super high stats from a magnet would carry them. I tried to push them to apply to a broader range of schools, but they weren't having it.  So, I dropped it. They only got into UMD, and wait listed for Mich, though they are a CS major which is an incredibly competitive major.

While they are happy enough at UMD now, DC agrees that they aimed too high and wasn't motivated enough in HS to do the things they needed to do to shoot for the top tiers.

I learned that lesson, and I'm pushing younger DC now about applying to a broader range.  Yes, I'm the bad guy for pushing DC to take more practice SATs, study more (this DC doesn't have super high stats).  We argue a lot, but I always tell DC that I'm pushing them for them, so that they have good college options. And no, I'm not talking top tier. This DC doesn't have the stats for it. But, I don't want them to be put into a position where they don't have good choices.  They would not like it either.

IMO, a lot of kids are too immature to understand the consequences of their decisions, and while of course, many graduates from all sorts of colleges do fine, when the time comes for college acceptance, not having those good options can be depressing. I want my DC to be happy about their choice and feel excited about going off to college.  They want that, too. They just don't seem to put 2 and 2 together sometimes.

Sometimes kids need to be pushed more.[/quote]

I don't disagree that some kids needs to be pushed more. But it is easy to over-push and not all kids "need" to be pushed farther or harder. Your second child is not your first child. Each child is different.
Our oldest is like your first child only in that they now see that they probably should have put more effort into high school. Nevertheless, he is most likely exactly where he would have been even if he had. It took starting at community college first, but after one year he ended up at the one state school he originally applied to and was not accepted to.

Pushing to apply to a broader range of schools is good. But why the rest of it? "Having those good options can be depressing" --- you're focused on the perceived higher good options, not the ones your child is likely going to get without the extra SAT stress. Lots of people succeed regardless of their college, even from community college. Don't be so judgemental of academic institutions or dismissive of the personal lessons students learn from their experiences there.[/quote]

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