Reply to How do you get over jealousy, when your child is the only one not going to a top college?

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Reply to "How do you get over jealousy, when your child is the only one not going to a top college?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get therapy.

This is about making your kid feel excited about the next phase of his life. Not whether you have some thing to brag about. [/quote]

NP. Good advice above for you, OP. Read the book someone suggested, which sounds useful, and consider therapy. If you already are in therapy, you need to bring this up there frankly, and not shy away from it. As this PP rightly puts it, this is about your son's next step in life, not about you.

If you think, well, this'll pass, I don't need to get therapy or read stuff, please consider: If you feel THIS devastated by where he's going to college, or where he's not going, how might you feel as other stages of his life come along? What if he doesn't choose the major you wanted him to choose, the one you thought was more prestigious or lucrative? Willl you focus on how it's the right major for him and he loves it--or will any happiness for him get eaten up by your own disappointment and leeriness about how it all looks to your friend circle? What happens if...he graduates in five years instead of four, for some reason? He doesn't get into the grad school that looks more prestigious, or doesn't go to grad school at all, though you'd hoped he would? The list can go on, and extends beyond academic issues to his first job, his partners, etc.

That's why you need some help with serious introspection abot your feelings here. You need to be excited for and supportive of your [i]young adul[/i]t, not eaten up by how your [i]child[/i] measures up to other people's children. [/quote]

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