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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Sleeping in Separate Beds"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time. [/quote] This feels like it was written by a husband [/quote] I did not write the above. I"m a man. I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities. [/quote] the women can just "deal with it", lol. No consideration for their sleep, no desire to change or really empathize, just a blanket expectation that women put up with your BS, no matter how much it may affect their own health. You destroyed your own marriage with your entitlement, when you could have simply allowed your wife some space so she could REST. [/quote] Well said. If you cannot see the need to find out a way to meet in the middle when there are two important but conflicting needs, that’s a you problem. In my case, I found immense relief when I finally started sleeping in the guest bedroom. I was overwhelmed with exhaustion with a newborn and then constantly sick toddler/preschooler. I managed xDH’s snoring and kicking for a while but it became too much. If he had recognized and even cared about my need for rest, then our whole relationship might not have unraveled. [/quote] I'm one of the men who said ex wife messed up our marriage by sending me to the guest room. My ex wife did not compromise much. She didn't try to compensate for the abrupt coldness by doing other things to stay close. She figured she could treat me like an unwelcome house guest indefinitely. She couldn't. That said, if snoring is going to be a deal breaker, and it will be for some people, they should say so before they've been married for years. [/quote]
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