Reply to That “done” feeling- how long can it last?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I are two years post “moment of truth” where we went to marriage counseling and worked to resolve a lot of issues.  Mainly, his anger and hurtful actions, and my anger in return.

We have a very nice, stable, middle class life.  We laugh a lot, we have sex, we have good friends.  We have what looks like a great marriage and life on the surface.

But scratch a bit, and deep inside, I’m very done with him.  Like when I imagine my future, he’s not in it.  I find myself counting down how many more years the kids are with us.  I used to fantasize about him dying or running off, so this is an improvement.  But I turn over and over in my mind the logistics of leaving, telling friends and family, etc.

I tell myself it’s time to forgive and move on.  I’m not actively miserable, either.  It’s just when I think about the marriage, I think “this isn’t working for me.”

Has anyone been through something like this?  What did you do in the end?[/quote]

I had that feeling for the past four years or so.  Nothing was resolved, we fought over everything, and the good moments were fewer and farther between.  We did marriage counseling, and I was clear that it was a last ditch effort for me.  During counseling, he was either high and talking nonstop about random topics, or he was uninterested and shut down.  I used to fantasize about my next home because anything would have been more peaceful that what I was living in.  I'm sure some people can come back from the "done" feeling but I couldn't.  I knew that it was time to split up, and we did.[/quote]

Sorry. You did the right thing.

However, OP wrote:

“We laugh a lot, we have sex, we have good friends“

I don’t think it’s the same. [/quote]

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