Reply to Divorced with kids and GF wants to spend more time together

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hey OP, I am a divorced mom of 2 kids, younger than yours. If it has been 8 months and your kids are HS aged and you have told them about this woman, and you love her and are serious about her, why must you wait until the 12-month mark to introduce her to your kids?

Your kids already know what a bad relationship looks like (ie yours w their mom). This is a great chance to show them a healthy relationship. And for them to have a wonderful female role model in their life.[/quote]

You're making a lot of assumptions about her, their relationship, and what role she wants to play in their lives. [/quote]

What assumptions are those?

Speaking as a divorced mom with 2 kids of my own, based on my experiences dating post-divorce, I would assume that after 8 mos, OP and his gf have discussed the fact that he has children and the potential of her meeting them. Im also going to assume that they have even discussed what their relationship would look like once she meets the kids and they dont have to “sneak around” anymore.

Because OP seems like a good dude, and thats what good dudes do when they are dating post-divorce. They dont date people who arent interested in dating someone with kids.[/quote]

As a mom of a young adult child I disagree that  parents always have to introduce the new partners after 8 months. I would only do that if I considered cohabitating or marriage [/quote]

Not snarky, but serious question. If your kid doesnt see you in healthy romantic relationships, how do they know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like? Assuming that your relationship w their other parent was incredibly unhealthy or you wouldnt have divorced.[/quote]

I had a happy marriage for the most part. Travelled a lot as family, home parties for our child, dates. It didn’t stop my exH to go crazy on midlife . 
But I don’t see my child being exposed to a line of boyfriends would be helpful for them emotionally. Particular since we won’t cohabitate and maybe just have some TV time together once in a while . My child doesn’t want anyone they need calm and parent available to them [/quote]

Thats a valid choice for your family. OP however said that he wanted to introduce this woman to his kid after the 12-month mark. So that isn’t the decision he is making for his family. Given that, and the ages of his kids, why should he wait 4 more months, esp if he has already told his kids about them? [/quote]

Because op is not serious about this woman and has no intention of being serious with her.

Op is extremely manipulative and says the right thing so he doesn't get called out on his BS. .[/quote]

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