Reply to My kid meets (and shares room) with my ex's new romantic interest. Am I crazy to worry about this?

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Reply to "My kid meets (and shares room) with my ex's new romantic interest. Am I crazy to worry about this?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm late to the party, but I just have to post my thoughts.

I'm in the midst of a high conflict divorce.  Given that my ex has borderline personality disorder and is also narcissistic and am lead to believe the OPs ex also has something similar that she either A). doesn't recognize as a mental illness or B). has chosen not to post that fact.

At any rate, OPs ex doesn't sound like the run-of-the-mill crappy ex. I, too, felt relief when my ex got a new gf because I believed it would take "some of the pressure off of me". It would give him another source for his narcissistic supply, thus relieving me of the barrage of vitriol spewed my way because he lacked one.

To the posters viewing this situation through a single lens (and slamming OP because of that), please realize there are other lenses.  Not everyone divorced a mentally and  emotionally stable individual.  Because YOUR H gets along beautifully with his ex merely points to the fact that they are two whole people who love their kids enough to co-parent in a loving way.  It is impossible to co-parent with a person who has a mental illness (not saying that this is the case with OPs ex) and you have to "keep score" because any one incident in isolation doesn't seem like much, but establish a pattern of incidents and you can make a pretty convincing case that ex's actions are emotionally detrimental to the child.

I am going through this now and I'm sure my friends IRL think I am being childish when I don't agree to seemingly benign requests from my ex. On another thread someone suggested that I stop discussing my situation with those friends who haven't BTDT.  That is what I suggest to you OP.  If your ex has some type of diagnosed or undiagnosed mood/personality disorder, then your thread title should include that.  That way you can at least attempt to eliminate responses from people who don't know what the hell they are talking about and haven't a clue what you're are dealing with.  Good Luck!

And I recommend bpdcentral.com for information on bpd & npd. If the description fits your ex, then you will find some helpful strategies for how to deal with him. [/quote]

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