Reply to “I’m destitute, and I need you to solve this”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If other people ask me to solve their problems,  they might not like the solution, which is tough love. 
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Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?
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NP To me a parent is someone who does things for their kids, not the opposite. I would do anything for my kids but I don't want them to worry about me. If I were a burden to my kids I would feel like I failed as a mother. It's my job as an adult to take care of myself![/quote]

[b]Not allowing your kids to help is a burden in itself.[/b] (I say that as a daughter; I don't have my own kids so no, I am not expecting anyone to bail me out.)

I'm not saying she has to move in with you and you buy her Prada bags - but just giving her a tough love routine, that's very harsh and cold. Barring some circumstances or history that you feel make that the right thing to do.[/quote]

You're saying that as the child of someone not relying on you completely and asking for help though. These are the parents you WANT to help by being present, driving them to the doctor's, getting groceries. And of course it's fine to accept some help. I get that because my parents are like that. It'd be an honor to help them! But here this woman basically acted like a financial child her entire life, hoping to be bailed out by her kids. And these people will take, take and take some more. My in-laws are like that. You give them money? They want more, they will spend more. There is no shame element for some, they will not learn unless they are actually on their own.

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