Reply to Does anyone else believe in Mel Robbins's Let Them theory

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was done with it when she said everyone is just doing their best, they most certainly are not. Not everyone. [/quote]

This phrase has always bugged me. I guess I have a different definition for "their best."[/quote]

I think most of the time it's helpful. Maybe "best" is not the right word exactly but basically that if they had it in them to do something else they would. But the real question is what do YOU do, and does what you do help or hurt the situation, whatever it is?[/quote]

I get what the PP is saying but I also think it's important to let it go.

I have thought many times in my life that other people could have done better and tried harder, and I've been frustrated with the fact that they don't. Especially when it's caused problems for me, and especially when I *am* trying my best and I feel thwarted by others not putting in effort.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that I can't make people do better. At least not people other than someone who is actually my own child who I can help to learn and provide support to. Everyone else, I have to accept what they can give me even if I really do think they could give more if they actually tried. For whatever reason, they are not, and I have to accept that.

And then I just try to structure my life so it doesn't depend on anyone giving me more than I want them to. That's it. I just don't depend on people to try any harder than they have historically shown a willingness to try. Sure, maybe they could try harder under the right circumstances, but I can't go around rearranging everyone's circumstances to bring out their best. I have to focus on my circumstances and my best, and view most other people's contributions as a nice-to-have but not a must-have.

So no, everyone is NOT trying their best. But you can't do anything about it when they don't. You have to accept and move on.[/quote]

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