Reply to 10+ years into “settling”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am very much in love.  I married a man who is a fairly high earner and good dad, but not someone I was super attracted to or had a deep connection with.  We are 17 years and 4 kids in.  He has turned out to be a wonderful father, which is very attractive, and he has been open and receptive to learning what I like in bed, so the sex is great and keeps getting better.

He did have trouble with addiction a few years into our marriage, and that was hard.  We nearly got divorced.  But he went to rehab and has been sober 12 years.  It’s been good.  
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Love your story- can you share more? Did you go into the marriage with very similar underlying values/priorities/cultural background?[/quote]

In some ways, yes.  We are roughly the same age, white, and met as classmates in the same professional school.  We both wanted to have four or five children.  We are both committed to making the marriage work and living the best lives we can within the frame work of marriage and family.    
I think it some ways this isn’t a terrible way to go into a marriage.  It helps that we are never really scared of the other person leaving, and we aren’t trying to force to other person to continue acting 25 the rest of their lives in order to recreate that time.

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