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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Does anyone have a custody schedule where both parents see kids every day?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WFM spouse seems to be doing more work and has no weekends free. I would just do 50/50. [/quote] What does 50/50 look like in this situation? Genuinely asking. [/quote] https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/50-50/examples-of-50-50-child-custody-schedules.php Any of these options. It looks like him being with them and managing them on his own while they are awake. And it looks like you giving up quite a bit more of their waking hours, and therefore more of your child support. 50/50 is very normal and you need to get your head around that it is normal, even if it's not what you want or where you end up. [/quote] I think it's a bit unfair that you assume this is about keeping the kids from the other spouse. Other spouse works and commutes. Someone needs to be with the kids during their waking hours. Once someone said that's not enough weekend time I agreed. FWIW this is the schedule that communing spouse proposed. [/quote] I don't think OP is trying to keep them from him exactly, but I do think she's trying to maximize what she gets and it necessarily comes out of his time. Almost the same thing. [/quote] But commuting spouse proposed this! So it’s not coming from “his” time. If anything he’s overrelying on HER time to do childcare for him. [/quote] Did you write this, OP? It's helpful if you identify yourself so people can tell what's coming from you. It seems OP says there's no acrimony but how could that be true if he's leaving her and basically ditching the kids as well?[/quote] This is OP and no I didn't write that. Spouse has proposed this schedule because they want to see the kids everyday and I want them to as well. I think it's in the kids best interests. [/quote] Okay, but this reads like it's on you to deliver the kids when he has time in his Mr. Busy Important Man Schedule, and it's also on you to take care of them when he doesn't want to (which is most of the weekend). Like he wants to see them every day (except Sundays?) but he doesn't actually want to spend very much time taking care of them or doing things with them. Is this basically how it has been in your marriage, that you're the default parent and he does as much as he feels like? I have a very hard time seeing this schedule as being in their best interests because the waking hours with their father are so little, and they're spending a lot of time back-and-forthing (as are you-- a drain on your time right? Who's doing the driving?). I think the schedule below fits what you've described, but correct me if I'm wrong. Commuting spouse gets: Monday: 90 mins in the evening= 1.5 hours Tuesday: An hour in the morning, 90 mins in the evening= 2.5 hours Wednesday: Same, 2.5 hours Thursday: Same, 2.5 hours Friday: Same, 2.5 hours Saturday: wakeup to 12, so like 5 hours? Sunday: Nothing. So 16.5 hours total for the week. WFH spouse gets: Monday: 1 hour morning, 2 hours afterschool Tuesday: 2 hours afterschool Wednesday: 2 hours afterschool Thursday: 2 hours afterschool Friday: 2 hours afterschool Saturday: 12 to bedtime so like 7 hours Sunday: The whole day, call it 12 hours waking time. So the total for the week is 30 hours. And if you look at the actual *quality* time, subtracting commute to school and boring routine stuff like getting dressed, then the WFH spouse has an even more lopsided share. The commuting spouse has like, an hour weeknights and then Saturday mornings. Not much.[/quote] NP. But this schedule is a function of RTO's parents schedule. The visitation schedule changing doesn't mean RTO gets more quality time. It just means the kids spend more time in daycare when they could be with their WFH parent. RTO parent is only available after 6PM until bedtime regardless. RTO parent could make up time on the weekends but apparently would rather spend the time dating and having fun. Really, it's all an argument for WFH parent to have full custody.[/quote]
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