Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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Reply to "if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person - what would you do in this situation"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you ask his family for help?  Both to encourage him to step up? and for his mom or dad or sibling to come and help out at your home for a week here or there?

It seems like he need some old fashioned guilt to be a better/decent man/father.[/quote]

They will always view him as the struggling little boy who needs coddling.  and they are very scared of his mental health issues and potential for self harm (there's been so much coddling and enabling I didn't know about for awhile.).  They would come help me in a second (which is a mixed bag and I'd usually pick paid help because they come with a lot of "concern" and emotional neediness of their own with their worry about him) and have had the occasional "you need to get it together!" talks with him but those backfire because he feels attacked and lashes out (the bpd part...).  I don't think these are controlled choices he's making that he could easily choose to do differently.  He could of course seek much more intensive help and thats a choice not too, but I think he hates feeling out of control and unable to be the dad he imagined [/quote]

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