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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People, stop blaming her for not seeing his illness sooner. It’s not going to help. He has become good at masking by now. 
She needs support and people who understand. [/quote]

There's a pernicious post format on this forum where people drop the always-useless "why didn't you see this coming" reply, as if problematic people walk around with flashing neon signs and immediately divulge their pathology in their initial greeting. It's a sort of victim-blaming people use to psychologically distance themselves. They want to believe the story being told could never happen to them; they're smarter than to fall for that.

We've all fallen for some bullshit at least once in our lives. People either have compassion for that dynamic because they've lived through it, or they're probably the person putting someone through it.

See also: "you didn't tell me to stop/change (so it must've been fine)" mentality. People who aren't responsible for themselves like to pass the blame/responsibility, especially when it comes to relationships/the relationship forum[/quote]

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