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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's totally fine. You give up control when you divorce. You don't get to second-guess reasonable decisions or insist on parental care at all times.

OP, it sounds like you want your ex to have missed work out of some misguided notion of "fairness"-- "I used my annual leave so he should use his annual leave". That's nuts. If the child was safe, well cared-for, and reasonably happy (for a sick kid), then you have nothing to complain about.[/quote]

I'm stepmom, wondering if I did something wrong.  I wanted opinions not affected by stepmom dislike.  I had the ability to use leave, so I did. Now there's backlash.

[/quote]

NP. I don't think you did anything wrong, based on information provided. If I understand correctly, Mom is upset because SHE had to use leave, and Dad did not have to, because you (stepmom) was able to? If so, you're not wrong-the ill child was cared for.

The only way I'd have a problem (as Mom) was if Mom was available to care for ill DD on Dad's days, and he did not offer the time. But I don't think that is the case here, based on the info provided.[/quote]

You are correct. Both in what Mom is upset with and that she wasn't available without missing more time.  There isn't usually a lot of drama.  She doesn't get upset when I attend extra curricular activities with dad or anything like that.  We're all polite.[/quote]

I doubt mom is mad in the abstract because she thought it was unfair she took leave and dad did not. It’s not an issue of her leave - it’s that dad showed (perhaps in a pattern of such behavior) that he puts himself & his job above a sick child. It’s that mom put kid first and he did not.

Did she want the sick child to stay with her and dad refused, only to go to work anyway? You still have not answered. [/quote]

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